Lottie Biggs is not Mad - sneak peek

I've been getting a few hits on the blog when "lottie biggs" is googled because of the link I had to the Chicklish review in my blog roll. So I thought I'd better investigate a bit more...

Synopsis: My name is Lottie Biggs and in three weeks time, I will be fifteen years old. At school, most people call me Lottie Not-Very-Biggs. I've never found this particularly funny...My current hair colour is Melody Deep Plum which is not as nice as Melody Forest Flame but definitely better than the dodgy custard color I tried last week...And this is my book - it's about important things like boys and shoes and polo-neck knickers and rescuing giraffes and not fancying Gareth Stingecombe (even though he has manly thighs) and hanging-out with your best friend having a blatantly funny time. It is definitely not about sitting in wardrobes or having a mental disturbance of any kind! Painfully honest and laugh-so-hard-you-forget-to-breathe funny.

Extract:

Introductions and all that Yawny-Yawn Boring Stuff

My name is Lottie Biggs and in three weeks time, I will be fifteen years old. At school, most people call me Lottie Not-Very-Biggs. I’ve never found this particularly funny. I am five foot tall and a fraction over half an inch. My current hair colour is Melody Deep Plum which is not as nice as Melody Forest Flame but definitely better than the dodgy custard colour I tried last week. My eyes are bog-standard blue, my chin has a dimple in it and my nose looks like a King Edward potato. My favourite subjects at school are English, History and Art, my favourite food is sweet and sour chicken and egg fried rice, and my favourite living person in the whole wide world is my best friend, Goose. My favourite dead person is the actor James Dean. I’ve got posters of him all over my bedroom walls and on the back of my bedroom door. I know it’s a bit tragic to be erotically attracted to a picture of a dead person but he does have exceptionally cool hair. When I’ve finished my GCSEs, I’m going to study English, History and Art in the sixth form and then travel around the world, making especially sure that I visit Indonesia so that I can see orang-utans swinging about in the wild. After this, I’m going to settle down with a very rich and handsome film star (one who is NOT dead) and get a job as an Art Historian in a small gallery somewhere in London like Piccadilly Circus or Trafalgar Square. Until then, it looks like I’ll have to stick with the occasional snog from Gareth Stingecombe and my Saturday job, selling shoes in Sole Mates.

Read more of the extract at Hayley Long's website.